Hey loves,
I hope you are doing lovely.
I have had quite the week. This is actually the first day I have gotten a chance to use my laptop since I arrived in Blantyre for my work training at the Malawi Institute of Tax Administration. It’s not because I have been very busy, but rather that I have been having quite routine days (my biggest fear about being employed).
I wake up in the morning, take a shower, get ready, go for breakfast, report for training, have lunch, more training, go to the gym, shower, dinner and sleep. That has always been my fear about getting employed as @walusunguchipeta on my instagram said “employment makes you believe you are good”.
I have only applied for one job in the past one and a half years. I got the job. It wasn’t easy, and it took a lot of prepping and waiting on my part. I applied for this particular job when I had just left college and I wanted to live out the corporate dream and obviously put my degree to good use. Initially, I had applied to several more jobs that I had not heard back from. I lost hope and I decided to scratch all that. There was only this particular job that I had not heard back on, but also knew that no one else had heard back on it. A part of me had then given up but I was also still hopeful in the back of my mind. I decided to go full throttle on my dreams, job or no job. People really underestimate what it means to start with absolutely nothing.
There is a lot that I have done with my life in the past two years. It may seem like a breeze to most but I have really struggled to build a brand I love and believe in. It has taken everything in me to get to where I am at this point in time. I have fully crafted what kind of Media Company I want to have; what creative products it will release; and more importantly, how it will give back to society.
You are looking at the “By Ntha Creative Media, Marketing and Production Company” with the “Nyenyezi ya ku M’mawa Foundation” as its beneficiary organisation. If you follow me on social media, you then know that it has taken a lot to even arrive at just these names and what exactly they represent. I have had an identity crisis (personally and careerwise) for as long a I have known me and I am constantly trying to refine what my dream is going to be. I am grateful for time and I am always open to letting it teach me new things.
This all sounds like I had my work cut out for me. I am soon to publish my first book. I have a few books underway. My Media and Marketing company is really really picking up. We are getting some major clients. So why take a job right now?
The day I got the call that I got the job, I was actually planning a trip down to my parents to let them know I was planning to move back to Mangochi into one of their houses. I had my mind made up and I was ready to make the change. Why, you ask? I was tired of breaking even. Creativity does not pay its own bills where I am from. You can barely live off just being a good writer. You need to be doing a few more things to really make it.
I was busy during the day trying to run the Media Company to use my creativity to pay my bills and my rent, while at the same time trying to create amazing content to keep the company growing – and then writing in the evening to keep my longterm writing dream going. I was living hand to mouth and it was draining my creativity. I was strained mentally, financially and I started to struggle to write. I was always stressed and thus lacked creativity – so yes I wanted to move back home to live rent-free and just focus on my blogging and writing.
A few weeks earlier, my dad had asked me if I had been applying for other jobs besides the MRA job. Truth be told, at that point I wanted a job. I am brilliant (if I do say so myself), I have a degree and a lot of certificates to my name and it makes no sense for me (or anyone with the same capacity as I) to be struggling to make ends meet. However, I was sick of wasting my time applying lengthy applications knowing I will not be called for the job.
I lied to my dad that I had been applying for other jobs. In reality I was still praying for the one job. I prayed to God that if He ever wants me to have a job in my life, then this will be the job He would give me and only He would guide me on how I would juggle these things.
So on that one friday afternoon, I got the call that I got the job I had waited to hear back on for over a year, and I could not quantify my feelings. I was excited of course, my financial troubles are settled for a while – that I would be making enough money to grow my media company. I was happy to have been one of the 25 chosen out of more than a thousand that had been shortlisted for the aptitude test. Not to mention being the only girl – and one of the only 3 in my graduating year from Chancellor College, University of Malawi.
I was happy my parents would no longer stress about what to tell their friends when they ask what I am doing with my life.
But deep down I was scared. Scared that I would get complacent. That I would start to believe I was alright. That I would start to chase corporate targets and bonuses and that I would end up forgetting my dreams. I am still scared of that.
But here I am, absolutely grateful for the only job I wanted – and yet super anxious about what that will mean for my creative career. I have no idea how it will go, but I trust God’s plans and I am determined to try. more importantly, I will be sharing my journey with you, so you do not make the same mistakes I make.
I got complacent for a minute there, but I delivered an advert today, started working on a vlog for Sunbird, and wrote this blogpost today. I guess I am doing fairly alright if you ask me. It is not easy, but I hope you are trying as hard as I am.
I wish you luck in the pursuit of your dreams.
All my love,
Ntha
P.S. I am like so excited to wear all my formal clothes like all the time! Time to pull through with my Jessica Pearson and Olivia Pope inspired outfits! Yaas!
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