As of last Sunday, I am now the oldest (both paternal and maternal sides) unmarried person in my family.
I had a brief chat with my parents, expectedly, about what plans I have for my life regards my life and my future. All I could hear in my head was “Tivina liti?” even though that couldn’t be further from their intention regards that particular conversation.
I’m grateful to have two very supportive parents who for the most part allow me to follow my heart, and pursue what pleases my soul. They wanted to remind me what matters most, where love is concerned. I am blessed to have two people who ground me in that way.
2 weeks ago, my childhood best friend married the love of her life. I was a bridesmaid for the first time in my life.
Theirs is one of my favorite love stories – just two people who continue to choose each other, against all odds. I don’t know two people more deserving of true love; and I am grateful that life awarded them the chance to let their hearts find their way to each other.
Of course, I am a normal girl, and for a while there, I started thinking of whether I wanted this for myself; and when it is going to happen.
In a hyperexposed world, we are often focused on material and temporary things in finding love – be it phyical appearance or finances; things which for the most part fade.
It got me thinking about love, and all there is to love. I am grateful that love found me too in my lifetime – but I can’t help but think of the impact the materialism of this superficial (internet) world has on love.
My mother, since I was a child, told me this about love: that I must be friends with the person I choose to spend my life with, above all things. My father reiterated the same words to me last weekend, and the words have been ringing on my mind.
I don’t have many biases regards physical appearances when choosing a partner. I care less for what people think. I am more focused on the heart and the brain – thanks to my mother. I am however biased to height (I know not why, yet); and I can’t help but wonder if I would still adore my partner if he were not as tall.
I am grateful for my ma, who has allowed me the chance to choose who my heart loves, and guided me on what to search for in a person.
In this superficial world, we worry too much about appearances – and how our lives look to other people through cameras and filters. We think about the dates, the flowers and the selfies which will get thousands of likes on social media. We want picture-perfect love stories; when life is, for the most part, not picture perfect.
I guess I just wanted to say I hope you find someone true, someone real, and someone your soul will continue to love, when the cameras are shut; when there are no filters, and when nobody is watching. I hope you have a marriage that is more beautiful than a wedding ever could be, because for life is a rather long time to rush and have a gorgeous wedding, and endure a lifetime of suffering.
I wanted to remind you not to rush – as I have learnt where love is concerned, it does what it does, when it wants to. Trust life a little bit. Tidzavina, in the right time.
I hope you find someone you will love, and who will love you (cliche as it sounds) through better or worse, for poorer and for richer, till death do you part.
I know my friend Nellie found that in her love Irshaad, and I am so thankful she allowed me the chance to stand by side as she said I do, and gave me a chance to witness true love in all it’s realness.
All my love,
Ntha
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