My Journey Through, and on the Sides of the United Nations
By Nthanda Manduwi
A seven-part reckoning with power, purpose, and possibility.
When I was a student at the University of Malawi, my classmates would often say, “You’re going to work for the UN.” It was meant as a compliment—an affirmation of brilliance. But at the time, I didn’t even know what that meant. I was the daughter of mariners, raised in Mangochi’s quiet privilege, groomed for a future in science or law. International development? That was not quite on the roadmap.
And yet, it found me.
From joining the Leo Club as a student, to founding my own non-profits—Ntha Foundation and the Kwathu Kollective, I was constantly drawn to the question: What happens after we donate? What happens when the cameras are gone? I began to see the cracks in how we “help,” and I knew I needed to do something different.
In 2021, I was selected as one of 20 from nearly 38,709 global applicants for the UNDP Graduate Programme. I was seconded to New York at the Independent Evaluation Office, working on SDG knowledge coordination, supporting evaluation conferences, and producing early conversations around what would become my show: The Lessons Conversation. I worked on global synthesis coalitions. I read every major framework. I learned the language of diplomacy.
And I learned its limits.
My former manager, and a great mentor of mine once told me, “You can’t change the world from here. You can only change the area around your desk.” That line stayed with me. It broke me a little. Because I didn’t come to the UN to change my desk—I came to change the world.
I still believe in sustainable development. Deeply. But I also believe that we are failing to deliver it—not just the UN, but all of us: governments, NGOs, donors, even private actors. The MDGs failed. The SDGs likely will too. Not because the intentions aren’t noble, but because the systems remain unchallenged.
So I chose to step away from New York—not to give up, but to recourse. To return to Malawi. To the work. To the ground. To change what I can measure. I later got into my MBA program with the Michigan State University, and I moved to Lansing.
To Learn.
And to write.
Why I am Writing the Lessons Series
This series is a reckoning. With development. With institutions. With myself.
These books emerged from years of working at the intersection of aid, policy, digital transformation, and lived experience. They’re not written out of rage, but out of responsibility. They are my attempt to hold a mirror to systems that often refuse to see themselves clearly.
Each book is a lens: a different angle into the same truth: we can do better.
Together, they form a seven-part series that interrogates what works, in what context, under what circumstances, and why. Each book offers lessons. Not perfect answers—but perspective, honesty, and hope.
The Books (2026 Publication)
1. Lessons
A Handbook for Professionals Starting Out in International Development
This is the heart of the series. Lessons is where it all crystallized—the patterns, the politics, and the people I met along the way. This book reflects on my early years in global development, particularly through the lens of a young African woman trying to make sense of systems.
It’s a guidebook, a memoir, and a challenge to the status quo—all in one. If you’re starting out in international work, this is the book I wish someone had handed me.
2. Beggars in Suits
A Study in Elite Capture and the Corruption of “Good Intentions”
This one cuts deep. Beggars in Suits is a confrontation—with development leaders, think tanks, and all those who weaponize titles, polished accents, and TED Talks to secure funding but block real change. I have been one of them.
It’s about how power replicates itself under the guise of “doing good”—and how elite capture is alive and well, even in the spaces meant to liberate us.
3. Systemic Nonsense
Untangling the Logic Behind a World That Runs on Illogic
We like to pretend the system is broken. But what if it’s working exactly as designed? This book unpacks the myths, contradictions, and dysfunctions that have become normalized in international institutions.
It’s both satirical and surgical—a dissection of policies that don’t make sense but continue anyway.
4. Impossible Economies
A Front-Row Seat to How Big Governments Have Failed Small Nations Throughout History
Here, I zoom out to the macro level—colonial trade, IMF loans, extractive governance. This is about Malawi. About Africa. About the global South.
Impossible Economies questions everything we’ve been told about “economic development” and looks at how outdated models continue to harm those already on the margins.
5. So Wrong for So Long
An Inquiry into How Bad Ideas Survive—and How Good People Enable Them
Failure isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet, polite, and well-funded. This book reflects on the inertia within development institutions, where bad ideas live forever—because no one wants to admit they were wrong.
It’s also a self-interrogation: when have I looked the other way? When did I enable a broken structure? It’s not a blame game—it’s an honesty exercise.
6. We Are Still at War
Inside the Quiet Wars Big Powers Still Wage—Without Armies
This one is personal. We Are Still at War talks about the violence we don’t name: donor pressure, policy conditionalities, global funding politics. It’s about how war is still being waged—not with bombs, but with trade agreements, austerity, and coercion.
I wrote it to honor the silent resistance of small nations still trying to breathe under the weight of global control.
7. A New Normal
A Future-Minded Reflection on Systems Rebirth
This final book is the bridge between critique and imagination. It’s where I ask: What if we did things differently?
It brings together all the reflections from the first six books and dares to suggest alternatives—not perfect ones, but better ones. It’s a manifesto for the future. A blueprint, maybe. But mostly, it’s a love letter to what’s still possible.
Why All Seven? And Why All at Once?
Each book is a chapter in a much larger story.
Together, they form a complete arc—from awakening, to confrontation, to rebuilding.
I wrote these books not because I have all the answers, but because I couldn’t stay silent anymore.
This is my offering. To my peers. To my continent. To the world. To you.
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with care,
Ntha
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