It all started over a coke as I remember.
I guess the main question anyone really has when it comes to pageantry is whether pageants bring girls together or tear them apart. I mean it is after all, a beauty contest… which by the very definition brings a commotion already.
Personally I have struggled with the definition of beauty itself for years now. Is it about appearance? Is it about having the perfect heart? Is it about both? They again who defines what beauty? Who defines the scale? After all, it is subjective. And by implying that one person is beautiful, physically anyway, you have already implied that another is ugly… and I guess all these things build up and feminists start to question why we must even have beauty contests.
I have never won a beauty pageant because I was the prettiest. I step onto any pageant stage prepared to be nothing but myself. I smile when I feel it true. I walk according to how I feel, and just down right have a blast. As I said in my previous post… for me it is always a means to an end. I go on pageant stages with a platform to sell, and win or lose I always achieve what I set out to do.
But that was not the fight over lunch today, and I know you are curious.
It started as a small thing really, that escalated into everyone expressing their emotions.
In pageantry, I have learnt, there are different types of girls. Let me try to name a few.
The Queen Bees.
These believe in their hearts they have already won and think they run the show. They most times stand a good chance, but can be a pain to the rest of the competitors.
The attention seekers.
Lately, I have learnt, there is nothing these girls will not do to be noticed. If they could break a leg to be seen, they would.
The Competitive ones.
These are not here for a chitchat. They are here for the crown and solely that and I quote “I am not here to make friends”. Note that this says nothing about their true characters. Beyond the competition, they might even be darlings… but once competition time sets in, it is time to compete!
The followers/Sweethearts.
These have no stand of their own. They will normally cling to the queen bees and do as she says… making the queen a bigger pain, really. They can also be such sweethearts and darlings, and usually pure innocent souls.
The loners.
These just go about their business as usual (raises hand. lol) Man these are just here for the goodtime. Absolutely no room to kiss ass or pretend. You cool with me? I’m cool with you. I have an issue with you? I either discuss it with you, tell you off… or the best option – Ignore you. Do not get it mistaken though… these people are very good at standing up for what they believe in – whether it is themselves or for other people.
There are actually more ways and scales on which we could classify beauty queens.
But here I was speaking of sisterhood.
You see, a coke today spiraled a lot of emotions. One sweetheart that doesn’t know how to say no; a few protective loners trying to save her from a competitive queen bee. By the time the conversation was done, darling sweetheart was in tears, with queen bee angry, and everyone else up in their feelings… but here is the beautiful part: At least truths were spoken.
Highlighted, by queen bee, was the fact that girls in pageants can not be friends – that we are all pretending and will backstab each other at the first opportune time. What bothered me was the fact that this is in fact the normal state of pageants. There are times when girls will do right about anything to win.
I remember when we were going for miss Malawi and the girls in camp spread the most vicious rumors about me. Apparently, I slept with right about everyone that could have influenced the winning decision (male or female, it seemed too, from the rumors).
Today’s argument ended with one resolution among the girls: That for as long as we are trying to be better than each other, we will always feel the need to compete and drag each other down. I admit, those were the pageants of the past but times have changed. Pageants are now about you being the best of you… and whether that is good enough or not, you walk away with contentment knowing that you were your best self. When you realise that, you stop competing with your sisters and start uplifting everyone around you. That my darling is sisterhood.
To all my sisters throughout my years of pageantry, too many to name… I am grateful for you and I love you. I mean that truly. I wish you the best of you, and hope you will continue to soar whatever competition you may be in.
All my love,
Ntha
All photo taken at the World Miss University 2017 Pageant in Cambodia.
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